Reblogged from papertissue
Al!$$@LyN.
my names alissa. i like you, i like sex.
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, “When did you start hating me?” She replied, “When you were 4”. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn’t want me texting while I’m driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn’t be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn’t birdwatching. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to “My Dick” by Mickey Avalon. She won’t stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She’s 4. FML
so i called the questin phone or whatever and asked if blind people have a imagination. they thought i said do black people have a imagination. fml.
All Time Low: dear maria
Millionaires: megan wants a millionare
Music: musics?
Christmas: lights
Religion: bible :O
Reading: books
Eating: yumm
Coloring with crayons: inside the lines
Summer:was long.
Best Friends: heather.
Tumblr!: new.
Scene Kids: fags.
The Outdoors: woods
Warped Tour: wanna go.
2012: 2012
School: junior
Girlfriend/Boyfriend: singlee
Green: grass
Internet:slow
Your Siblings: egburketj
Inside Jokes: ima fuck a white bitch
Your Cell Phone: went in the pool today
Your Favorite Band: ionno
Being Rich: moneyss.
Being Poor: no moneyss.
Christmas With The Relatives: gay
Animals: attack
Vegetarians: eat plants like cows.
Your Favorite Tumblr: your mom.
grape faygo is best. enuff said.
